Woman’s Ridiculous List Attacks Working Moms, But It’s Offensive To Pretty Much Everyone

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We all know that motherhood is one of the hardest responsibilities we will ever take on. Most of us also struggle with self-doubt at times, wondering if we’re doing a “good enough” job of being a wife and a mother. 

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Well, according to a delusional post written by the ultimate sanctimommy that was featured on The Transformed Wife’s Facebook page- you’re likely doing it wrong. 

The intention of the post is to visually illustrate WHY MOTHERS SHOULD NOT HAVE CAREERS. It breaks down the typical day of both a stay-at-home-mom and a working mom, in several steps. 

The post intends to make it clear how working mothers are not only failing in virtually every area of their existence, but why mothers working at all is ruining pretty much EVERYTHING.

Photo Credit: The Transformed Wife on FB

Granted, we’ve seen this battle play out many times on social media as our less enlightened mom peers attempt to imply one lifestyle is superior to the other. But if you’re already gritting your teeth in rage, just wait until you actually read her list; it gets so.much.better (Or worse??).

There’s so much insanity to discuss here that I’m practically giddy; let’s break this Twilight Zone trip of a list down, shall we?

Home Vs. Away

The working mom is away from home for hours each day. And that’s supposed to be a “bad” thing, apparently, since the STAY-AT-HOME MOM has the supposed benefit of being home all day. Exactly. She’s home ALL DAY LONG.

As someone who has been a stay-at-home mom for 16 years now, I can tell you that there were countless days where a trip to the grocery store felt like a damn vacation because it was anywhere but home. We moms may love our homes, but sometimes getting out of it is a very good thing.

Who’s got the Kids?

Mom being home with the kids all day isn’t necessarily the best thing- for several reasons. Maybe Mom makes more money than her partner. Maybe Mom has an awesome career that she loves. Maybe Mom just doesn’t want to be home all day with her kids and has someone equally loving & nurturing there with them, and who the hell has the right to say otherwise??

Make sure to check out what our own Meredith Masony has to say about this chart too. 

Stay-At-Home Moms Get More Rest

The author claims that while poor working moms are eternally exhausted, a stay-at-home mom:

Rests while her children nap.

BAHAHA!! Nope. Moms have to multitask so much that I don’t know a single one -not ONE- that is not tired. Working or home, all moms are always tired. Period.

Working Moms Can’t Cook

Apparently working moms can’t cook. Or won’t, according to the author. But apparently us stay-at-home moms need to up our cooking game, because:

Dinner is from scratch, nutritious and delicious.

Uh, no, it’s not. Sometimes dinner in any house is a fantastic home cooked meal. Sometimes it’s DinoNuggets, or McDonald’s. Again, in ANY house. It’s called reality. The author needs a dose of it, apparently.

Working Moms Don’t Engage Kids Enough

If you’re “only” reading a book at bedtime to your kids, working moms, well, you’re just not trying hard enough. Moms who stay home play with their kids ALL day, apparently, when they’re not in the kitchen whipping up those healthy, gourmet meals from scratch…

Weekends Are WORK For Working Moms

According to our list, poor working moms are slaving away all weekend while stay-at-home moms are frolicking on the beach. Really?? I’m pretty sure weekends are work for ALL moms, because we live with people who create endless work for every one of us. Weekends should be for Dads to take kids to the parks & beaches so we moms can catch up on the rest that none of us ever get.

More Sex If You Stay Home

FALSE. Any Dad knows that if he snatches a teething baby away from his wife & sends her out with her friends while he cleans up dinner, he’s going to get more sex. The amount of sex a couple has does not depend on if Mom is working or not. It depends on how helpful Dad is when she’s not working or taking care of the kids. It’s SCIENCE.

It’s hard to read, isn’t it? But the bottom of the list is the clincher; the author really goes for the jugular when speaking of working moms:

Her life is falling apart. She doesn’t feel like a good wife or mother.

There’s finally a grain of truth to her words, but not just when applied to working moms.

Many mothers feel like their lives are a mess, and many feel like they are not a “good enough” wife or mother. 

One of the major reasons women feel like failures is exactly this type of judgy, sanctimommy criticism. The message is: if you’re not doing motherhood this way, then you’re doing it wrong. We are constantly bombarded with messages telling us what we’re not doing right, what we should be doing that we aren’t, and why what we ARE doing isn’t good enough. 

We feel guilty if we work. We feel guilty if we don’t. 

We’re supposed to feel guilty if we DON’T feel guilty. This list is not only grossly stereotypical and unrealistic, but a symptom of a more pervasive problem: mom judgment.

This kind of ridiculous nonsense that this woman frequently uses her platform to spread is straight up damaging – to all women.

Virtually none of us measure up to the standards set in the list, regardless of which side of the list we’re on. And that’s a good thing, because it means that we’re real people, with real struggles, doing the best we can

And, don’t let this judgmental sanctimommy (or anyone else) tell you otherwise. 

20 COMMENTS

  1. I love your sense of humor and I appreciate your view of things. However, after many years of raising kids and 2 marriages with and without a career, I have come to agree with the author of this list. If you have a family with school-aged kids, a mother SHOULD be at home.

  2. That lady made a list to justify her own insecurities and/or wants. Even a full time stay at home mom is like having a full time job.
    I am , my family is blessed to have a career mom and still blessed to be with my children all the time we cook nutritious meals. And my Husband is fulfilled anytime any place. Lady get it right.

  3. I have been on both sides of the spectrum, equally exhausted whether I was working at home, or working a job. And as a stay at home mom of 6 school age kids, I still don’t get to just sit. There are 8 people in my house, 8 ppl worth of dishes, laundry, dirt, toys, messes. They are all at school, but I have 2 that I drop off at 7, 4 I drop off at 8:30, then I pick one up at noon, one up at 2:30, and 4 up at 3:45, so like an hour maybe 2 in between each trip to get everything done. Then Mondays after school we usually get to “relax” so that meal might be home made, but Tuesdays they wolf down frozen pizza before we head off th Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, and Girl Scouts, yes all on Tuesdays. Wednesdays they wolf down mac and cheese so we can get them to church/youth group on time. Thursdays we have counciling so dinner is a little later than usual, but sometimes home made. Fridays dad (who works 3rds) leaves early for work, so we do something easy and quick, and the weekends…. hahaha, usually something scouts or church related or a birthday party, always something other than “relaxing on a beach. Lol

    • This is real life. I’ve done both and I’m a nurse, I work 3 (12 hour) days a week so I feel like I’m a SAHM too. I juggle working random days of the week and every third weekend (gone 530/6am-8/830pm).

      I go to all my kids events that I can, but I can’t always make it to them because of work. I arrange for care for my kids when I’m working, which is sometimes three different people (in one day). I’m not married to their dad anymore -which is good- but it’s definitely more work for me since I have them most of the time. I’m the only parent that can drive so that’s more on me.

      Anyway, my point is that a normal work day is easier than a home day driving both kids to school, pickups and activities, but neither staying at home or working are easy these days and judging people for doing what they have to do or want to do, just because it’s different than what you think is best, is ridiculous.

  4. I think this list is a Joke. I have been on both sides, both are equally hard!! What I think we need to talk about is the need for two income houses that makes it nearly impossible for a large portion of moms to choose to stay home. The tax burden on the middle and lower income earners is almosr impossible to overcome. Taxes on almost everything you buy, taxes on your income before you even get it and taxes on your property.

  5. This “Transformed Wife” broad needs to sit down and shut up. I’m a single mom with 2 kids. I’d love to have a sugar daddy so I didn’t have to work, but that’s not the case so I MUST. My kids are happy and fed and that’s all that matters.

  6. Yah, and she forgot to rip us moms who work from home! and my husband also works from home. and guess what? we each take a kid to school. then when we get home, since everything naturally falls to the moms, he walks out every morning to his shop where his office is on our property and says “OK, I’m going to work!” while I clean up after all the pigs in my 6-person household, probably organize JUST the kitchen (because that’s my thing…gotta have a clean kitchen:) then throw my hands up and march upstairs to finally go to work about 9:30…only to be interrupted a thousand times by husband requests, bills, keeping the laundry going, scheduling appointments, paying bills, etc. working from home is a blessing and a curse. constantly scattered. again, why are we blaming? i feel like i do a pretty good job and really fortunate to be able to do my work around the kids, but i also feel like if i wasn’t working, i’d be bored and my OCD would have me simply cleaning and cooking 24-7, which would probably literally make me insane. so you know what sanctimommy (my new FAVORITE WORD EVER!), bite me. we’re all great at some things and not so great at others, mommydom aside.

  7. Her kids are going to get eaten alive when they reach the age they are on their own. They won’t be able to handle REAL life.

  8. This whole article is so ridiculous that I couldn’t get past the first topic. As a working mother of 3, I never missed an athletic event, or school activity or church activity, entertained frequently and helped them with their homework every night and had dinner on the table for my husband, etc. My kids have grown into well adjusted, hard working, sociable adults who everyone enjoys being around.

    • No it’s not, unfortunately the blogger that posted that chart actually believes it and writes frequently on the topic. Every few months or year some kind of drivel from her blog goes viral and gets everyone up in arms. She just needs to be ignored.

    • No it’s not. My mom happens to follow the woman who wrote that post on Facebook. She tries to share those things with me all the time. I assure you, the woman who writes for Transformed Housewife is perfectly serious and she believes that women who are not like her are wrong.

  9. I stayed at home for 6yrs. My home was clean, our food was nutritious, my kids had enough time with me. Fast forward 6 yrs. I work 4 days a week, my house is never as clean as I like, meals are always ina hurry and my kids always are watching me run from errand to another. My life and my kids lives were genuinely better when I was at home. I miss that time terribly and hate the feeling of always being in a hurry.

    • I totally believe that the decision to stay home with your kids is a personal choice. Some women do better in their lives when they are home. Life is better when they are home. But other women want to or need to work and that’s also ok. I am a Christian woman who loves the Lord with all her heart. I believe that I am to stay home. But God outlines in Proverbs 31 that a woman is not defined by the four walls of her home. She buys, she sells, she makes clothing for her kids, she operates a business that provides for her family. I mean come on! What about a single mother?? Is she not supposed to work and provide for her kids???

  10. I worked when pregnant and when my daughter was a baby she was in daycare life I feel was easier cuz there was a schedule now I’m sick n have ailments n now 2 kids my house always a mess and too much to do

  11. So who ever is trying to blame the list in her clearly hasn’t watched the video. She isn’t saying that .the chart is she always finds charts and gives her opinion on the matter and she obviously didn’t say what the chart said stupid people learn how to listen.

  12. M
    No it’s not. It’s a super rude mom who thinks she’s better than other moms. It’s also a Christian sanctimommy which is 10x worse than a regular sanctimommy

  13. Please don’t post this anymore. Don’t give her the attention she craves. This lady is insulting in her thinking. I’m a Christ believer but this is too much. She actually thinks women should not go to college. She wrote a whole article on how women going to college has made the world worse. How backwards thinking is that! Sorry but my bible does not tell me I need to be uneducated barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

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