You’ve heard of food porn, right? Food bloggers have a way of presenting their dishes in the most desirably delicious way possible, & most of us drool over their succulent culinary exploits. Did you know that a chicken recipe video could be risqué?
Well, there’s food porn, and there’s accidental food porn. You know- the kind that’s less, “Wow! That dish looks ah-mazing!” and more “Is that a vag-…umm… this is making me…uncomfortable.”
A recipe video posted by Chefclub Network has quickly gone viral, but not so much for it’s appealing step-by-step chicken “Cordon Bleu Deluxe” demonstration as it’s resemblance to some hot & heavy foreplay that looks a bit too human.
I know you’re skeptical- how can a simple chicken recipe be so salacious? Well, here are a few of the key take-aways. In screen shot form.
You’ll likely never look at a raw chicken breast the same way again.
We might have to file this under the NSW (“not safe for work”) category, because if you mistakenly pause the video at certain key moments, it might make for some really awkward explaining on your part to your co-workers. Consider yourself warned!
Yup- while it appears to be a straightforward instructional chicken recipe video, it’s… “presentation” resembles something found way down that weird rabbit hole of late night YouTube. Or maybe PornHub.
But lest you think that perhaps it’s just me (or YOU) that seed something more than just chicken prep happening here, think again! We’re in good company.
In the four days since being posted, this Chicken Cordon Bleu (or should we say “Blew”??) video has been shared over 332K times.
But it’s the comments -over 169K of them- that transform this video from oddly sensual chicken fondling to epic comedy gold.
First rule of cooking (or foreplay): Don’t rush the process, dude! You’ve got to keep it nice & moist…
…not that the guy knew the difference, anyway. HE was done.
It takes all kinds, I guess! And this recipe includes all kinds… in some weird way.
But it’s amazing how many new, innovative recipes you can try when you’ve got enough time on your hands since you’re not distracted by, um, other things.
For real though, even as a recipe, this chicken recipe video is recommended for mature audiences only.
It’s also recommended that you delete your internet history afterward, because it’s hard to explain why you’re watching chicken breasts being fondled for “cooking purposes”.
From the mouths of babes! This kid knows that whatever is happening to that poultry is just.not.RIGHT.
You & me both, Tim. One look at that split chicken breast & I started channeling my inner Beavis & Butthead: “Heh heh… looks like vag.”
Looks like eating raw chicken is no longer the only salmonella risk.
And the kids never ate chicken again. EVER.
(Again, channeling Beavis & Butthead here.)
And I suspect others came as well… for the comments of course, you dirty birds.
Thanks, Chefclub Network, for giving us such a “unique” method of preparing Chicken Cordon Bleu. If you dare to make this dish, fill us in; was it good for you??