With Valentines Day less than 24 hours away, it is time to plan and get ready for some serious sexy time. Setting the mood is so important for this super sexy holiday. Music is one of the best ways to ensure success in igniting the fire. Below I have listed the top 5 most unromantic tunes to bone to.

 

1. Closer by Nine Inch Nails: If you have not heard this erotic tune, let me fill you in….

You let me violate you

You let me desecrate you

You let me penetrate

You let me complicate you…

I want to F#ck you like an animal.

No woman wants to hear that you want to mate like wild animals. I myself have the ability to complicate my own life, I don’t need anyone to desecrate, violate, or imagine animal penetration with me.

 

2. Animal by Maroon 5: I am a big, no wait HUGE Adam Levine fan. I have seen him live and would go see him again. I do not however want to make whoopie to this song. In this song portrays a serial killer stalking a woman.

Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
Hunt you down eat you alive
Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
Maybe you think that you can hide
I can smell your scent from miles
Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals

Sometimes I go a few days without a shower, I guess my husband would be able to smell me from miles away. I simply do not have any desire to be hunted down like an animal. I have three kids, they would be able to track me down for sure. So when I’m in the middle of making magic, I don’t want to think about being captured by a serial killer and eaten alive.

 

3. I would do anything for love, but I wont do that by Meatloaf: So Meatloaf is a super cool guy. He has had some serious love ballads that anyone can enjoy a sack smack with. But take a look at these lyrics,

And I would do anything for love
I’d run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I’d never lie to you and that’s a fact
But I’ll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that
No, I won’t do that

So let me get this straight, you will go to Hell and back, but you wont do what? I cant think of a worse place to be then Hell, soooooo what won’t Meatloaf do? I need a man who will go to that place for me if I’m going to let them inside my secret garden. Come on Meatloaf, put on your big boy pants and sack up!

 

4. I will always love you by Whitney Houston: No one on the planet can sing a sexy love song like Whitney, can I get an Amen. I mean this woman had a voice like liquid gold. This song however is not as sexy as you would imagine. This song is actually about breaking up and moving on. Take a look.

Bittersweet memories –
That is all I’m taking with me.
So good-bye.
Please don’t cry:
We both know I’m not what you, you need
And I… will always love you

In the middle of a sweet sensual love-making session, I do not need to think that we are gonna break up. I will start to cry and it will get all weird and so not sexy. So Whitney…this tune is staying out of the bedroom.

 

5. Baby it’s cold outside by Frank Loesser: I find myself singing this song long after the holidays and the cold weather has passed. It is such a sexy song when Michael Buble sings it. His voice is like silk, that is until you listen to the lyrics.

I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no no no, sir
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried
What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay
Baby, don’t hold out
Baby it’s cold outside
(You’re very pushy you know)
(I’d like to think of it as opportunistic)

So now that we all know this song is about date rape, I guess we can file it under the not-super romantic category. Buble says opportunistic, I say pedophile. Either way it should be prison time.  I wonder if Bill Cosby listened to this song often???

So in the end, if you want your sexy time to be heated, heavy, hard, and filled with harmony, stay away from these top 5 unromantic tunes for this valentines day. XOXOX

Sunshine

@thatsinapropro

thatsinappropriate.net