I love my husband. We have been married for almost 13 years. We both work, we have three kids, and the endless amount of errands and chores never ceases to exist. I used to consider the idea of a band of sister wives that would move in and help me with the kids and the house. I wasn’t keen on the idea of having him sexually satisfied by another woman, but if she was going to clean toilets, I might be OK with it.
About four years ago I hit the marriage lottery. I became very close with my cousin, who happens to be gay. He got married a few years ago to a very good friend of mine, who was also gay, go figure. Our families became very close. We even stayed at their home while our house was being renovated. We stayed with them for three weeks. YES! All five of us stayed with them in their home and no one was killed. It was amazing.
Then, it hit me. I know why my marriage is so fantastic. I have three husbands, and I only have to sleep with ONE!!! Every woman needs gay best friends to compliment her marriage.
Here are a 15 benefits of having GBFF’s (gay best friends forever.)
1. I can call, text, or email my GBFF and he will reply instantly. The other GBFF will at some point reply. He is not the best with his phone, but I can’t hold it against him.
2. We can talk about things that my husband is not interested in and does not want to hear about. In fact, he lets me repeat myself when I am upset and just listens.
3. I can go shopping with my GBFF and he actually wants to shop with me.
4. My GBFF will call me and pick up the kids from school because he is in the area and knows it will help me out. He does it just because. Like, who the hell does that????
5. I can go out to dinner and have drinks with my GBFF’s and I don’t have to have sex with them at the end of the evening. Plus my husband loves it because I come home and DO have sex with him. IT’S AMAZING!!!
6. My GBFF’s will tell me how my ass actually looks in jeans. They will also squash my poor choice of shoes.
7. They help me cook.
8. They help me clean.
9. They help me party plan.
10. They text me awful MEME’s that no one else EVER needs to know about.
11. They listen when I cry.
12. We do crafts together. Strike that. He crafts and I drink wine.
13. We drink wine together. He even drinks spritzers with me, and I know it kills him.
14. They laugh at all of my ridiculous jokes, and even tolerate my Swedish accent. *Note* I am not Swedish, I just love that accent.
15. They are there for me whenever I need them. No matter what I ask. They have yet to turn me down, and I ask for some cray cray sh*t.
I am one lucky lady. In the end I have figured out that the formula for my happy marriage is (1 love of my life + 1 GBFF who loves to craft and shop + 1 other GBFF who reminds me when I need an oil change and always answers my calls: So in reality, it = 3 men to make this 1 woman happy.) The age-old adage of “It takes a village” to raise a family is true. I am just lucky enough to have the best village people around. That pun was completely intended.