Living with kids is always an adventure. Good or bad, every single day brings something new. Life is never ever dull.
Unless of course one of your children has DISCOVERED MINECRAFT and wants to tell you all about it. That’s the stuff comas are made of. Aside from Minecraft it has occurred to me Preview Changes (opens in a new window)on an almost daily basis that living with kids is not entirely unlike living in a college dorm. Let me explain.
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Here are the many reasons why living with children is exactly like living in a college dorm:
Someone is always stealing your snacks.
No matter how clever you think you are at hiding them, you regularly find the bags of COOKIES AND CHIPS you were so desperately craving are empty when you skip dinner and need a snack.
You can no longer have nice things.
With college roommates you find your new sweater or pair of shoes have gone missing or are returned with damage from the wild night before. Also, someone is likely to puke on your futon. With kids, the nice things no longer fit you, and you can’t afford new shoes. And it is 100% guaranteed that someone is going to puke on your futon. The futon is likely now a couch, but either way, puke will happen.
The floors are always sticky.
No one will own up to the reason, nor will they offer to clean them. Literally no difference here.
There is always a mystery smell.
No one will admit that they know why, and you will likely never find the source. It may be stronger depending on the temperature in the room or the season, but it’s always there. In college this was the dorm room. Now that you have kids it could be any room in your home or your mini-van. Or both.
You never ever get enough time in the bathroom.
When you do manage to sneak in, it’s completely trashed with wet towels and random crap on very surface and covering the floor. Also, the cleanliness level is typically on par with a TRUCK STOP BATHROOM, and you are the only one who ever shows any interest in cleaning it. No difference here. None. My bathroom regularly makes me want to cry…and drink more wine.
You can’t sleep
In your college dorm someone was always awake. Getting ready for a party, leaving for a party, coming home from a party, or perhaps your room was the party. Guess what? Kids love an all-night party too. The only difference here is that you will have to serve them water and instead of listening to your roommates drunken rendition of “Baby Got Back” you are now going to be subjected to several hours of “Frozen.” Let it go….it’s all the same.
You are always broke
Being a student means making careful decisions about purchases such as groceries, clothing and wine. Guess what? That’s right, welcome back to living on a tight budget. My kids can consume six bags of groceries before I even have a chance to put them away. Kind of like that guy down the hall in your dorm that was always hungry.
There is never ending drama
Remember in college how someone was always mad at someone else for seemingly ridiculous reasons and they would pull everyone they could into their dispute and it would go on and on and on and on? Ask any parent on week two of SUMMER BREAK with more than one child. This is literally their lives now.
Someone is always crying about something
If it hasn’t been caused by the obscure drama from #8, it could be a break-up, a bad grade, a bad hair day, but whatever the reason, there always seem to be tears. Life with kids is exactly the same. The reasons for the tears may be different, unless you have teens, but you are still at all times about one minute away from a total meltdown.
You’re forced to listen to crappy music
In your dorm there is always that one person who is super dedicated to gansta rap or death metal or some obscure bands that no one has ever heard of. And you are forced to listen to it all day and all night. Let me tell you something that every parent of young children can attest to, after your tenth hour of “Wiggles” songs you will be begging for death metal. And the music that MY TEENS make me listen to when we are driving anywhere makes me seriously consider putting the van in the ditch.
So the world of parenthood is not a whole lot different from your days in the college dorm. The positive side is that you will still have lots of laughs and make amazing memories. You are still learning and growing every single day. And you get to be part of an incredible family. But now they call you mom. And that makes all the difference in the world.