IF YOU ARE NOT A PARENT, DO NOT GIVE ME PARENTING ADVICE

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Parenting is an experience. It is something that you need to do first hand in order to truly understand what it is like to care for and be responsible for children. You have to eat, sleep, and smell parenting. It is truly a contact sport. If you are not a parent, please do not come at me with parenting advice. I BEG YOU. Take a look at this weeks video where I discuss my opinion on non-parents giving parenting advice. FOR. THE. LOVE. I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Comments

  1. Shari Callihan`

    Well said! As a parent of a special needs son & daughter who is a cancer survivor I can totally relate! Always wanted to make a t- shirt that says: Step away from the special needs mom! No advice needed! Thank you for your awesome blog! I truly enjoy it!! My kids are 21 & 22 now, but definitely had some moments back in the day! Just wish I would’ve had the internet! Keep on keeping on! You are an awesome Momma!!!!

    1. Brandie Burns

      As a special needs mother myself, a nurse, & the director of my county’s special needs resource & advocacy group I agree 100%

  2. Ginger

    Well said!! I raised a special needs son and I used to do battle with one of his docs because I didn’t agree with his recommendations. He was always throwing his degrees and “I have worked with 100s of children” in my face..and I would say but not my son..I know my son and our family dynamics..but also don’t give advice unless asked..it bothers me when even other parents say “well you should do…”. I didn’t ask for your opinion but hey thks..what might work for one doesn’t work for others and your way isn’t the end all absolutely perfect way..

  3. Crystal Chadwick

    Preach girl! I’ve got 4 kids and I’m in the midst of all the hardness and unless you’ve had a kid, don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong. Also, if you’ve had 1 kid, and that kid happens to be the best behaved kid in the world, don’t judge me for my kid acting a fool. Kids are all different, I’ve gone from my 1st being mild mannered to my 4th, who is more stubborn than a honey badger, he just don’t give a damn. To all the parents, keep your heads up and keep going.

  4. Amy Brand

    I actually switched pediatricians years ago for this exact reason. My firstborn was a freakishly easy baby and toddler…I thought I was Supermom! My second born came along to set me straight! To say she was a “difficult” baby is an understatement! I needed HELP! I needed ADVICE! Our dr at the time was an older gentleman who, I’m pretty sure, had zero hands-on parenting experience. We switched to a doctor that I felt had some “mommy” experience. I realize that just sounded really sexist…but it is what it is!

  5. Dana Rowe

    Amen Meredith! My kids are 41, 38, 36, 21, and 16 . Been through a LOT with these 5 and even with them, I would NEVER give them parenting advice. Uh uh! Raising kids is really hard! Each one is like a new science experiment. What works on one never works on the next one! Another thing I will NEVER do is tell a young, exhausted newbie parent (you know the ones – those trying to wrestle a 5 year old, 2 year old, and a newborn through a simple grocery store run) to enjoy their kids while they are little! You are too exhausted to “enjoy” them when they are little!! The kids are always going, hey Mom, remember when we… NO! I don’t! I was too busy keeping you alive to remember all that! Btw, all 3 of the older kids have apologized as their own kids have given them a whole new education! Paybacks!!
    All of us veteran Mammas need to stick together!!

  6. Melissa

    I used to be that girl “oh hell no when I have kids they won’t act like that in public” or “if u don’t eat what’s made then u don’t eat”
    2 kids later I take it ALL back ?

  7. Michelle

    I’ve always said “the best parents are those who have never parented” or so they think! ROFL!

  8. Angela Godley

    You are brilliant! Well said. I agree. I am a parent, parent coach, and agree wholeheartedly. My brother with no kids tries to give me advice w my teenager. Hilarious. I say no thank you!

  9. Beth

    Expecting number 7. Have a sister with no children who constantly compared my job to her multiple pets and also feels it’s her responsibility to determine if I’m raising my kids correctly. We don’t talk anymore.

    This video is going in my blog

  10. Laura

    You absolutely crack.me.up!! I love your honesty and that you’re not afraid to call it like you see it! Totally couldn’t agree more on the parenting books. I’ll add on that please don’t “gift” me a parenting book (or 10) if you were done raising your kids 20+ years ago because it’s a TOTALLY different ball game now!

  11. sherry dyck

    AMEN….well said Meredith !!!

  12. Rebecca Haler

    Very well said. I have a daughter who is going on 22 she is slow she had behavior issues. I also have a 13 year old. I have gone to counseling countless doctors experts. They tried to help but it didn’t help. I was so exsusted and in servivol mod. I tried all of there tools it is all b.s. didn’t work. I did what I learned from being her mom that worked. Being a parent is the most beautiful inportant exsusting hard difficult job we have. But it is so worth it.

  13. Georgiana

    As a new mother of a 2year old, I agree 100% with you!
    I am not experienced Enough with mine…. but I can tell you I’ve heard lot of crazy thing and gudgemental things come out of my friends mouth that don’t have kids, on how I should be parenting my own kids.

    All I can say; best of luck!!! You are doing an amazing job!!
    #mompower

  14. Angel

    Naaaah. Not really. If someone is being rude, mean, or ignorant, then that’s one thing. Otherwise, what’s inappropriate is striking down another’s genuine thoughts, feelings, or opinions (based on personal experiences with being a child at one point, having experience with one’s own parents, understanding how kids act, first hand accounts from parents and friends, and spending time with kids – whether those of relatives or friends) just because that person doesn’t happen to have a child of their own.

    1. Kate

      I agree. I don’t have kids of my own but I have extensive experience with kids (all’s ges) and a degree to back that up. I know what I’m talking about! But I refrain from sharing majority of the time in fear of being treated this way, simply because I haven’t been able to have kids of my own yet. If someone is rude of out of line then of course, but someone who’s genuinely trying to help maybe you should be nice and consider what they may be going through/where they’re coming from (infertility for one).

  15. Heather

    Perfectly put! Anyone who has not experienced the upstairs the downs the insurance and outs of being a parent or a step parent, should quite simply keep their comments to themselves! Not saying parents oniw everything but common if you are not in yourself them you have absolutely no clue.

  16. nikki berisford

    I have been there. My kids are now 23 and 21. That’s a whole new beast. *sigh*, there is never any peace

  17. Christopher Frey

    Perfect Meredith! Walk a mile in my shoes. Or at least 10 feet! We’re in the trenches everyday getting dirty. You’re the best!

  18. Kim

    I am a professional and am possibly in defense mode but my advice hasn’t changed from before kids to after having kids. I know my experience with my children and can relate here and there to other parents. As a whole, I stick to what research shows is effective. For the individual child, the parent is the expert.

  19. Alexis

    Very well said. However, I was guilty of this before I had my son. I did have a step son with my ex husband. I was the one who took care of him all the time. We ended up getting a divorce. Never heard from my step son again. 5 years later, my son surprised me while I was 4 months pregnant. I would not change a thing.

  20. Kris

    No personal attack by this “opinion” of mine, but this video bothers me, and this is why…if someone’s opinion or advice “spools” you up so much to make a very animated video on the topic, maybe the message to take away is that you need to care less of those opinions and focus more on your parenting. There are an infinite amount of topics where this exact sentiment holds true…it’s not just a “parenting” thing. It’s a race thing, a marriage thing, a health related thing, a “fill in the blank” thing….the list goes on and on. We all have our own experiences that many can not relate to. So unless the advice is being given in a harmful or hateful or immediately damaging way…move the eff on. We live in a snowflake society. Everyone is so hypercritical to “freedom of speech”. Lots of people have opinions of me, but I’m not uploading ridiculous videos bashing their points of view. I’ll keep living my life how I please.

  21. Stepahnie

    Exactly!! That even goes for High School principals that DO NOT have children! Those people really have no business being an authority in school over my last teenager out of 3 children. A piece of paper means nothing! You are spot on! Keep it up!

  22. Amber

    Omgosh people! She is amazing and speaks truth into this topic! Please, can you not find a bit of humor in this?? I LOVE this ! I think it’s super honest and I have been that person being judged while my child screams because she isn’t getting her way and I have also been the parent who has left the cart where it is cause of a melt down with everything in it. Until you are there, you will never know. I say that because I had a good friend who had kids before me and I always said “Well when I have kids I will NEVER “…:. You just don’t know until you’re there

  23. sally gees

    YOU KNOW your sons take after mothers dad and DAUGHTERS are like their dad’s mother’s/
    the rest of the world has to live with your offspring.
    Make sure the kids you pop out are one’s we want to be around!
    thanks

  24. Joe kopp

    Dear merideth,
    While i love your videos and your commentary, i think your a bit off target here when it comes to doctors and professionals proving advice on parenting.

    Your comments dont fall in deaf ears, i get it, but i also think you’re really talking about “unsolicited” advise and just “do-gooder” people who just offer their opinion without real knowledge. Those people are worst.

    But then you cross the line and say doctors, or professionals; That’s where i have a problem with your comments. Its really unfair and dangerous to say that a doctor is not a professional, or exist, just because they don’t have children.

    Who’s your gynocologist? Most are men, yet they have never had a vagina, a period, or child birth, but women rely on their expertise every day.
    Doors a doctor need to be a cancer survivor in order to treat, diagnose, and help cancer victims? Any reasonable person would say no.

    Have toot asked your pediatrician how many kids they have? More than 75% likely dont have any when they start practicing medicine, burr that doesn’t relinquish their professional opinions to something less.

    I hippie toy can see my punt and concern for your comments. While i know its meant to be funny and a rant, i also think you should set the record straight about professionals.

    1. Meredith Masony Post author

      Hi Joe, I never once said Doctors. I said parenting experts. How can you be a parenting expert if you do not have any children to parent? I said that it takes both the research and knowledge plus experience to be a parenting expert. I stand by my opinion on this matter and once again this is a humor site, so there is that.

  25. Denise

    I’m with ya… I have 4 boys, the youngest three are back to back ages. It is no one’s right to tell someone how to parent their children. Even if you have children you shouldn’t give advice to other parents because what’s right or good for your children and your family isn’t going to be right for someone else. I’m 1000% on your side with how you feel on almost everything. You’re doing a great job… Keep doing thing’s your way.

  26. Linda Roy

    Thank you! And thank you again! Amen and hallelujah. The bulk of my husband’s and my friends are childless, yet they all feel compelled to weigh in on what they would do, how we’re doing it, how our children behave/don’t behave. I know they mean well, but until they have kids of their own and raise them to the ages of 12 and 18, I’m not interested in their advice or opinions. That is, unless the opinion is “you’re doing an excellent job”.

  27. Tina

    Amen! Preach it girl! I could not agree more. I have 4 daughters and 6 grandkids. I love your videos and posts. You keep the humor in the most important job in life. BEING A MOM!! Not always easy but it is what we do! Keep the videos coming 🙂

  28. Jennifer Stamper

    I’d like to go one step further. Even if you are a parent, please don’t give your advice if you weren’t asked for advice. But that’s just me. Love you Meredith.

  29. Mama Missy

    I agree 100%! As a Mom of 3, I am THE expert on MY kids.

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