As a mother, wife, employee, daughter, daughter in law, friend, and human being, I feel as though some times people try to shame me into doing things, feeling things, explaining things, etc. I am here to tell you that I reject being shamed. Below you will find a list of things I do, that I refuse to feel guilty for. I have also given a brief description of said activity.

I refuse to feel guilt for the following things (These are in no specific order.)

  1. Forgetting to cook dinner. (2X a week.)
  2. Forgetting to switch the laundry for the 37th time. ( Every. Damn. Day.)
  3. Forgetting it’s picture day at my kids school. ( 3 kids, 3 schools. It’s gonna happen.)
  4. Hitting up the drive-thru after a three hour soccer practice. ( Once a week.)
  5. Missing soccer practice. ( Sometimes. They aren’t on the USA Olympic team.)
  6. Missing dance practice. ( Sometimes. She isn’t in the Russian ballet house.)
  7. Forgetting to sign my kids agenda. It’s first grade, not Harvard. (Happens 2X a week.)
  8. Not paying the water bill, light bill, car payment, credit card bill. ( I forget, they always call.)
  9. Missing a workout at the gym.( At least one a week.)
  10. Flossing my kids teeth. Baby teeth do fall out, right? ( I hand them the floss, what they do with it is a mystery.)
  11. Not picking up the toy room before I go to bed. ( I start to clean up, but someone I get side tracked.)
  12. Not throwing out the coffee grinds after I finish the pot of coffee. (Every. Damn. Time.)
  13. Missing trash day. ( Once a week.)
  14. Forgetting the mail for three days in a row. (Every three days.)
  15. Being the last parent at daycare pick up. ( 2X a week.)
  16. Being late. ( Every. Damn. Time.)
  17. Being moody. (While actively parenting or at work.)
  18. Being loud. ( My husband says deaf people can hear me.)
  19. Being drunk. (Not while actively parenting or at work.)
  20. Being annoyed. (See #17.)
  21. Being honest. (I’m always honest.)
  22. Being sarcastic. (I’m always sarcastic. I don’t know any other language.)
  23. Dropping my kids off at school in my yoga pants. (I like yoga pants.)
  24. Picking my kids up from school in my yoga pants. ( See #24.)
  25. Not brushing my hair. I usually always brush my teeth. ( Usually.)
  26. Wearing a tractor supply hat pretty much every day of my life. ( I like my Tractor supply hat.)
  27. Burning dinner. I know I have a timer on the microwave, but I am doing 50 things while cooking dinner, and I wouldn’t hear the damn thing beep anyway. ( I burn everything.)
  28. Forgetting to iron. ( Once a week.)
  29. Misplacing my keys. ( 3X a week.)
  30. Misplacing my phone. ( 6X a day.)
  31. Misplacing my shoes. ( 2X a day.)
  32. Forgetting to pack lunches. (2X a week.)
  33. Forgetting to get an oil change. ( I am not positive my car actually needs oil. Could be a conspiracy.)
  34. Forgetting to get gas. ( Yes, I have a gas light, but I forget that I saw it and I drive home.)
  35. Not being able to help my first grader with her math homework. ( I married someone who can do math.)
  36. Not being able to help my fourth grader with his math homework. (See #35.)
  37. Not remembering to take in milk and diapers to daycare. ( 2X a week.)
  38. Forgetting to return something someone let me borrow. Once I borrow it, I will forget you lent it  to me and never give it back. ( Every single time I borrow something. No exceptions.)
  39. Forgetting a birthday ( Happens a ton.)
  40. Forgetting an anniversary. ( I honestly only remember my anniversary.)
  41. Forgetting an appointment. (I do this a ton.)
  42. The way my children act in public. They know better, but they are kids, and sometimes they forget. I promise I will remind them when we are not in public. ( I have lots of flip flops.)
  43. Being too tired to bake Pinterest inspired cupcakes for my kids birthdays. My Publix has cake making on lock. ( I can’t bake no-bake items.)
  44. Anything else that I missed that someone else feels I should be doing, but I am currently not doing. (I am out of fu#ks to give.)

I do my very best every single day. I give 100%, 100% of the time. I am one person. I try to do several things all at once. I am no June Cleaver, but I am also not Mrs. Bates from Psycho. I find that I fall somewhere between Peg Bundy and Claire Dunphy.

I try to find humor in all things, because it is much easier to laugh it off. Most days I survive and get most things done. Sometimes nothing goes right. I am at a point in my life where I reject being shamed and ask all you “Shamers” out there to think about the shoes that other people walk in. Life needs to be celebrated. If all of the members in my household are safe, fed, and put to bed, I am going to raise a glass to a successful day.