Dear Children, Please Take A Lesson From The Dog


Dear Children,

It’s time we had a little talk. Last night when I fed the dog his dinner, I watched him, tail wagging and barely able to contain his excitement, as I dumped a scoop of food into his bowl. The same exact scoop of the same exact food that he eats every day of his life.

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You would think I had toiled over a hot stove for hours, judging by his pure appreciation of this meal.

Now when I actually DO toil over a hot stove for hours PREPARING MEALS for YOU guys….well, let’s just say that the level of excitement and appreciation is not quite the same as Charlie’s.

And that made me start thinking of all the other ways in which it would really help me out if you all could be a little more like the dog….

The dog is better at sleeping

Charlie goes to bed when he’s tired, without being told. He does not ask for three drinks of water and a SNACK. When he wakes up in the morning, he lies patiently and quietly, waiting for me to arise. He does not barge into my room at 6:00 a.m. to announce, “Did you know that wombats have cube-shaped poop? And by the way, we’re out of Band-Aids again.” I mean, HOW DO YOU ALREADY NEED A BAND-AID AT 6:00 AM??

The dog is better at listening

Charlie listens intently to me all day long. I know this because if he overhears me say the words “play” or “ball”, he is at my side within seconds. I do not have to scream “DINNER IS READY!” five times. He never says, “But I have 5 more minutes left in my show.”

He’s Not As Moody

Charlie has one mood…happy. He would be thrilled to get the smallest piece of the pie. Or the bread you deem “too seedy”. Charlie would never tell Dad and I that we “chew too loud”.

He’s always ready to go

Charlie is always ready to go. Wherever I want, whenever I want, he is eager to do ANYTHING. When I tell you all to get ready to go out I get a barrage of QUESTIONS. “Where are we going?” “Do I have to go?” “How long are we going to be gone?” And then the inevitable war which begins with one word…”SHOTGUN!”

The dog is always affectionate

Charlie is as affectionate now as he was as a puppy and frequently all 75 pounds of him are lying in my lap. Now, I’m not saying you guys need to curl up in my lap or anything quite that dramatic, but every once in a while, a hug might be nice.

Love, Mom

Dear Children,Last night as I was about to feed the dog his dinner, I watched him, tail wagging and barely able to…

Posted by I Might Be Funny on Sunday, January 21, 2018


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