Author: Meredith

How To Carve A Pumpkin In 42 Easy Steps With Your Kids

I decided that I would carve pumpkins with my kids this year. In years past, I would take the easy way out and buy those plastic kits where you just push them into the pumpkin. Last year was the Angry Bird pumpkin. I felt like I could tackle the project, so I told the kids, “Tonight, we are going to carve pumpkins. What do you want to carve?” This was my first mistake. Why would I give three children a choice as to what they get to carve? Here are 42 easy steps to pumpkin carving with small demanding...

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30 Things You Can Say To Both Your Toddler And Your Drunk Friend

Toddlers can be irritable, opinionated, self-righteous, creatures. It often reminds me of taking care of a drunk friend. A drunk friend that lives with you and never leaves. Nonetheless, toddlers and irresponsible friends happen. 30 things that can be said to both your toddler and your drunk friend. 1. You can’t nap here, you need to go to your bed. 2. We don’t eat food from strangers. 3. We never touch our private parts in public. 4. We pee in toilets, not in the street. 5. Chew with your mouth closed. 6. Keep your fingers out of your nose....

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A Really Open Letter To Jennifer Connell

Dear Jennifer Connell, I feel so sad for you. Your life must be empty and broken. How on earth did you come to the conclusion that suing your nephew over an accident was a brilliant idea? 8 yr-old’s break stuff, including other peoples bones. It was an accident. He was giving you a hug, not mauling you like a bear going after a picnic basket. Have you ever been to a child’s birthday party before? Most kids are zooming around as those they just ingested crack cocaine and washed it down with a Red bull. Children break things. Was...

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Shut Up! Your Kid Really Said That?

Have you ever really taken the time to listen to what your kids are saying? I find that the funniest part of my day usually comes from conversations I have with my kids. There is something pure and joyful from these interactions. Especially when my kids are discussing toilet humor and private parts. Take a look at some recent conversations between myself and my kids. I also threw in a few conversation between my husband and I. He seems to think he is as funny as our children. Bathroom Out Of Order (Conversation with 5yr old) 5yr old: Mom,...

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Scoop the Poop

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