8 Hours

It was a Monday morning after an exhausting weekend. I looked down and saw my gas light lite up like Christmas morning. Awesome, I am on my way to drop the kids at school and as usual we will be late. I haven’t been on time for anything in the past ten years. I honestly can’t remember an event where I was first to arrive. I pulled into the gas station and jumped out of the car to fill up the Hot Mom Machine. I swipe my credit card and it asks me a very simple question. “Please enter zip code”...

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Did you play sports in college?

I am officially at the point in my life where going anywhere to do anything that is not accompanied by my children or husband is a secret relief.  No matter what I am doing, it seems that someone wants to take my peace and quiet away. I can’t even take a shit without several people walking in and asking nonsensical questions. If I do lock the doorknob, my toddler slips his cute little fingers under the door, giving me the two-minute warning. You know the one, “get your ass out of there or we are going to burn the house down...

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Captain Underpants

This past weekend I attended a family gathering that we have hosted for the past nine years. We live in a small town with a R.V. park that has an annual Halloween fest. Each year will haul the trailer out to the site and drink, eat, and camp until we pass out. Four years ago it turned into a birthday party for my youngest son because it fell on his birthday. This year I was getting the kids ready for the weekend asking what they were going to be for Halloween. My daughter, Queen Elsa from Frozen, my youngest, Batman, and...

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Did you know your husband might be a genius?

This may sound strange, but your husband might be a genius. How do I know this you might ask? Well, my husband is so smart that he knows what I need even before I do. Let me give you a few examples… Last week I walked in from the grocery store with my three blessings. Unbeknownst to me, I had dog crap on the bottom of my shoe, which I proceeded to track through the entire house.  I look down at my shirt and realize that I have some type of bodily fluid smeared across my clothes, the most...

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2 for 1? Yes Please!!

Often I will have friends ask me if they should have a third child. If they haven’t heard the story of my third at this point I fill them in. The Christmas holiday of 2009 was crazy. It was my daughters first Christmas. She was adorable, 10 months old, and my son a super excited almost three year old big boy. To say I played a demanding role in my family would be an understatement. Everyone comes to me with their issues and complaints. They are often disappointed due to the fact that I give them a sarcastic comment...

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Do you every wonder…”Why do my children hate me?”

As a mother of three young children, this question pops into my mind on a daily basis. “Why do my children hate me?”  How can my sweet beautiful curly haired five year old turn into Dr. Jeckel in less than 30 seconds? Why does she think I am trying to kill her when I put her socks and shoes on in the morning before school? Why does she think the morning routine is a diabolical plan?   You wake up before dawn to wake them with a good morning song and it is almost a guarantee that one of...

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