Mother’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Aside from the fact that we finally get some recognition for all the amazing, selfless contributions we make, we hopefully get to enjoy watching our significant others take over mom-duties for the day while we sleep in a few extra minutes. (A mom can dream, can’t she?)
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But, like any holiday involving kids, things will not go as planned — the pancakes will burn, the dishes will break, and someone will definitely forget it’s Mother’s Day — because, let’s be honest, this is the one day of the year we aren’t managing all the details.
Thankfully, the hilarious parents of Twitter are keeping it real, as always, and helping us laugh at all the WTH and OMG moments of Mother’s Day.
1. Ready or not, Mother’s Day is coming.
Oh crap, is tomorrow Mother’s Day?
-Me every Saturday night after Easter.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 25, 2018
2. In case you need a friendly reminder.
My husband is going to save a ton of money on Mother’s Day this year by forgetting that it‘s Mother’s Day.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 26, 2018
3. Now is the time to make those purchases.
Me: So, as I was saying, what I'd love for Mother's Day is…
[Every conversation—now until Mother's Day.]
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) May 8, 2017
4. Because I don’t want my gift looking like this.
How my husband has wrapped my Mother's Day gift. pic.twitter.com/phg1COAJah
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 7, 2016
5. Practice drills are always a good idea.
Just over a month until Mother's Day, so now my family will be doing practice drills every weekend along with specialized training supervised by me and today's lesson is: "Mimosas: They Only Need A Splash of OJ"
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 7, 2018
6. Because I do want something — even if I tell you otherwise.
"You don't have to do anything for me on Mother's Day," I say, shooting mind bullets at the first person to take me seriously.
— SammichesPsychMeds (@SamPsychMeds) May 13, 2017
7. And I don’t want to share it.
4-year-old: Can I have some of your candy?
Wife: I got this for Mother's Day.
4: You're only a mom because of me.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2017
7. Oh, and please include a card.
Not to brag but I can pick out a Mother's Day card for my mother, wife and son for my wife within 2.8 seconds of entering a card shop.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) May 8, 2014
8. Or am I responsible for buying everyone’s cards and gifts this year, too?
"What did you get my mom for Mother's Day?" — husbands.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) May 12, 2017
9. Don’t you daaare say it!
Me: …and then he said, "Why would I get you something for Mother's Day? You're not MY mother."
Judge: You're free to go.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 9, 2015
10. I will find you.
Mother's Day is coming up. You guys find your hiding places yet?
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 28, 2015
11. In all seriousness though, can I give you a few gift suggestions?
I'm not sure what my husband is planning on doing for me on Mother's Day but I hope it's laundry.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 18, 2017
12. This would be amazing.
Dads on father's day: let's go do something as a family!
Moms on mother's day: Can everyone just not talk to me today or touch me.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) May 9, 2016
13. This would be even more amazing.
For Mother's Day, I want to be that thing that my husband put away but can't find so my family can forget about me for at least a week.
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) May 2, 2017
14. Not this.
Before you take me to a crowded restaurant with other people's screaming children on Mother's Day, ask yourself: Why do I hate her so much?
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) May 5, 2016
15. 100% not this.
Mother's Day gift idea: Not asking her for money that day
— Jocelyn Plums (@ColoradoUgly) April 30, 2015
16. She has the right idea.
An advent calendar, but for Mother’s Day. And each day has a mini bottle of wine and a pre-matched pair of kid’s socks.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) April 15, 2018
17. But I’m usually lucky if I get a whole 22 minutes.
When you have little ones, it's not really Mother's Day…it's more like Mother's 22 minutes to an hour, tops.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) May 2, 2016
18. Thanks for the Mother’s Day wishes, babe.
Happy Mother's Day to the Moms out there. Kick back, relax and…
Everything would go to shit if you did that. Enjoy your day.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) May 8, 2016
19. But please stop telling me to relax.
Telling a mom to relax while her family does everything on Mother’s Day is like telling a pilot to relax while the passengers fly the plane.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 14, 2017
20. Because I just know this is happening in my kitchen.
Hard to make Mother's Day breakfast a surprise when you yell at everyone to stay out of the kitchen because broken glass everywhere.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 12, 2017
21. I guess it’s the thought that counts, right?
For mother's day I got to yell the instructions for making coffee to my husband from the living room.
I mean, my husband made me coffee.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) May 8, 2016
22. Especially when my kids give me these.
Our 7yo son is making chore coupons at school for Mother's Day which are totally sweet and will totally not be fulfilled.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) May 12, 2017
23. Or say this.
6yo: You're the best mommy
Me: Aw, thank you!
6yo: I mean, I guess. I don't have any other mommies to compare
Happy Mothers Day to me
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) May 5, 2017
24. Or this.
Happy Mother's Day to the best, sweetest, most caring mother in the world and also to my mom!
— Justin Shanes (@justinshanes) May 12, 2014
25. I really am looking forward to it though.
I'm really looking forward to buying a large Dairy Queen ice cream cake for myself on Mother's Day & pretending that I'm going to share it.
— SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) April 27, 2016
And all the sweet, loving, hilarious gestures that go along with it.
Lauren Lodder earned her BA from UC Berkeley and her MA from CSUF. Before becoming a freelance writer, she taught writing and literature classes at the college level. You can find her on Facebookand on Twitter. Her work has appeared on HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Babble, Buzzfeed, The Mighty, among others.