I have three kids. All of my kids make me wonder things. My youngest is autistic, and more often than not, my thoughts go to a very different place. I try very hard to find the humor and silver linings in our daily trials, but sometimes it just sucks. Autism sucks.
Some people do not like the term “Special Needs.” I can understand that. All of my children have special needs. My oldest is very sensitive and I need to speak to him differently. My daughter is just like me, she never stops talking. It would require an Executive Order to get her to close her trap, and she would probably still find a way to slip a word in edgewise. My youngest son however, does have some different needs. As parents we all struggle. We are all tired. We are all at the end of our ropes, but how we get there might just be a bit different. I think that is the beauty of the parenting journey.
Here are 20 thoughts that have frequently traveled through my mind.

  1. Did I do something to make you this way?
  2. Why does everyday have to be so tough?
  3. Will this ever get any easier?
  4. Who doesn’t like socks? I love wearing socks.
  5. Who doesn’t like underwear? I mean, we are all supposed to wear underwear right?
  6. Maybe the diagnosis is wrong.
  7. Maybe someone can fix him.
  8. I need him to sleep. He never sleeps, and I am so tired.
  9. I can try that new diet I read about and take all the food dyes out, but that seems like a lot of work. I wonder if it would be worth it.
  10. It is hard enough to worry about a kid with no issues; this is freaking exhausting.
  11. Go ahead and stare at my kid as he screams in the store. You have no idea what our life is like.
  12. Will he get married?
  13. Will he always need me?
  14. What happens when I’m gone?
  15. He is hilarious. I wonder if he knows how funny he is?
  16. How did I get so lucky to get this little dude?
  17. I couldn’t love him anymore; he fills up my heart.
  18. They keep talking about medicating my son, maybe they should medicate me.
  19. Tomorrow is a new day.
  20. You can’t fix what isn’t broken. So I guess I will keep doing what I’m doing and know that he was made exactly the way he was supposed to be.

Being a parent is the most difficult job on the planet. Not many people would argue that. However, being a parent to a child with “different needs” takes the game to a different playing field. Each day brings new surprises and trials. Each day brings disaster and hope. Each day is a good day, because we are still alive to enjoy it. Parenting is tough no matter what. The journey is different for all of us, and magically a lot of it is the same. It is a fantastic feeling to be able to relate to each other. It is so nice to know that we aren’t alone. I am sure that most of you have had some of my thoughts with your children, even if they don’t have “different needs.”

*This post was originally published on POPSUGAR*