Mornings as a parent are generally exhausting- kids are often up at the crack of dawn, chock-full of energy & raring to go. On weekends, that is.
For some reason, this principle doesn’t apply to school mornings, which is what makes the morning routine before school a special kind of hell, especially if the chaos occurs prior to adequate parental caffeine consumption (Though it’s no picnic even after drinking your coffee– IF you’re lucky enough to get to drink it, because KIDS).
Getting a crew of kids up out of bed & out the door (not to mention the crucial steps in between) can truly be a dumpster-fire of a morning sometimes, & the parents of Twitter can totally relate. Laugh along as they share their own parental morning angst!
- Kids wake up earlier on weekends. It’s science. And it blows.
My favorite parenthood thing is dragging the kids out of bed at 7 for school all week & then seeing them bright-eyed at 5:30 am on Saturday.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) August 20, 2016
2. But school mornings, on the other hand, are typically a trainwreck.
If you are considering procreating, come to my house before school in the a.m. to see what this joy of parenting shit is truly all about.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 14, 2016
3. Most of us weren’t nearly prepared for this part of parenting…
Before I was a parent, no one told me how upset I'd be with my kids every morning for their complete lack of urgency before school.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 24, 2018
4. Getting kids ready feels nearly impossible. Getting them ready without someone crying- even MORE impossible.
Getting my kids to school in the morning without anyone crying is like solving a Rubik's Cube made out of emotions.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 14, 2016
5. Most of us absolutely dread it (and toenail removal is probably less painful).
I would rather remove each of my toenails with a set of pliers than get my kid out of bed and ready for school in the morning.
— Life?U?P???ere????? (@LifeUnPinterest) February 18, 2019
6. We try to start the morning peacefully… *deep breaths*
Deep breathing techniques not only helped me with the birth of my 3 kids, but also when getting those same kids off to school in the morning.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) December 18, 2017
7. But at least kids get out of bed after your wake-up call. I mean, your FIFTH one, but still…
There aren't many things that piss me off more than yelling at children to get up for 20 straight minutes every school morning. Really gets my blood pumping.
— ?IHateEveryone? (@_IHateEvery0ne) February 21, 2019
8. (Unless they pull this one. Nice try, dude. We grew up with Ferris Bueller.)
It’s too bad Oscar nominations have already been announced because my son gave quite the “I’m sick I can’t go to school” performance of his life this morning.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 19, 2019
9. And if you assume they’re getting ready on their own- hah! They’re not.
My sense of self-denial is best when I tell myself that the sounds of running & giggling at 8am are the kids "getting ready" for school.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 19, 2018
10. But when they eventually do, they…are…so…sloooooow.
In the morning, my daughter gets dressed with a slowness that sloths envy.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 12, 2017
11. No, seriously. Kids set records for speed- as in, the slowest speed humanly possible.
My 6yo found a turtle in our backyard and this morning the turtle got out of bed, ate breakfast, and got dressed for school before he did.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 13, 2016
12. Then there are the distractions; kids focus on anything BUT getting ready.
I’m too hard on my kids. I have to be mindful of yelling at them too much and try to have more patien—OH FFS ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PAINTING YOUR DRESSER WITH NAIL POLISH RIGHT NOW?!??
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 27, 2019
13. You try to get them to eat breakfast- and they don’t. Until the very.last.minute.
Morning routine for kids:
I'm not hungry
I'm not hungry
I'm not hungry
I'm really hungry – 5 minutes before leaving for school. #Parenting
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) October 19, 2016
14. And teeth brushing either doesn’t happen, or doesn’t happen well.
My kid's special talent is remembering she forgot to brush her teeth after she gets dressed so she can get toothpaste on her clothes.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 13, 2018
15. And let’s not forget the last minute “Oops, forgot my homework!” blitz. That’s fun.
If you’re not helping someone rush to finish their homework at 7am every Monday, do you even have kids in school?
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) December 10, 2018
16. Kids learning new skills is good, but so is being on time. You can’t have both, though.
“Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip up her jacket by herself.”
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) November 9, 2017
17. The bottom line: THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME!!
90% of getting your kids ready for school in the morning is yelling, "YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!"
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) January 21, 2016
18. There are some mornings that go quite well, though. Too bad they’re Saturdays.
Hi hello how’s your Saturday morning okay I’ll go first: we made it halfway to school before my kid asked why he had to go an extra day.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) November 4, 2017
And let’s not even get started on the horror of missing the bus- or the stress of the morning drop-off...