They’re baaaacccckk! Yup, it’s the most wonderful time of the year… for the parents who don’t have an Elf On The Shelf in their home, that is. But for those of us who foolishly decided to bring the little creeper in & are now saddled with daily regret, it’s far less enjoyable.
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The parents of Twitter are just as sick of the Elf On The Shelf as you are; laugh along with them as they vent about the angst of the daily elf saga.
- Some of you were smart enough not to even begin this insanity.
5-year-old: How come Elf on the Shelf is at other people's houses but not ours?
Me: We have better locks.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) November 28, 2017
2. But for the rest of us… we did this to ourselves (Why? Why did we do it?!).
PSA: The Elf on the Shelf is supposed to arrive next Friday. Please remember that you do not have to let him in.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 17, 2017
3. The dread creeps in early… even before the elf himself creeps in.
I'm only sad "Thankful November" is almost over because after that comes "Creepy ass Elf on a Shelf December"
— Jenny Schoberl (@holdin_holden) November 23, 2015
4. From now until Christmas, we’re stuck with the elf, every.single.DAY.
My condolences to all the parents who now have to remember to move an elf every night from now until Christmas.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 23, 2018
5. It started out cool, but the overachieving parents ruined it for us slacker parents.
Remember before Pinterest mom's ruined everything and all you had to do was put the elf on a shelf?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2016
6. They set the bar WAY too high.
Parents, it's called Elf on the Shelf, not Elf on the Zipline Made of Licorice That Ends in a Punchbowl Full of Mini Marshmallows, you assholes.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 2, 2017
7. Moving the elf becomes such a hassle. Or rather, such an F$%^* hassle.
Me, Day 1 of Elf on the Shelf: I have so many ideas this year and they are all ?.
Me, Day 4 of Elf on the Shelf: this is why I know so many swear words. What the shit do I do today?
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) November 26, 2017
8. The fun of the whole Elf On The Shelf thing wears off REALLY quickly.
1st year of Elf on the Shelf: I won't use it to discipline, just to bring joy.
Now: *Feet up, drinking wine.*
The Elf is watching, kids.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 22, 2016
9. The kids may love it, but the parents? Not so much.
Arguing with my husband over whose turn it is to move the Elf is what this season is really about.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 2, 2017
10. It’s all fun & games until your spouse slacks on his/her elf game.
Me: Where's your Shelf Elf today?
8: In my stocking
Me: What a lazy, unoriginal elf.
Wife [from other room]: MAYBE ANOTHER ELF SHOULD HELP MOVE HIM ONCE IN A WHILE.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 10, 2017
11. The elf is supposed to keep kids in line, but- IT DOESN’T WORK.
Son 1: Forget the naughty list. I'll be on the CRAZY list!
Son 2: And I'm going to be on the EVIL list!
Our Elf on the Shelf isn't working
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 13, 2016
12. We end up resorting to more… desperate measures.
Get your kids to stay in bed by taping a walkie talkie to your elf on the shelf's back and whispering, "He sees you when you're sleeping."
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) November 23, 2016
13. Or more painful measures (but at least they’re effective!).
An Elf on the Shelf that screams OH MY GOD I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN PLEASE STOP YOU'RE KILLING ME every time it hears your kid whine.
— The Dad (@thedad) November 29, 2016
14. Some parents are just OVER IT.
I see your Elf on the Shelf and raise you Creepy Toy in the Trash Can.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 26, 2018
15. A few wise parents have even fired their elf, & they are my heroes!
If telling my kids that Santa fired their Elf on the Shelf this year is wrong, I don't want to be right.
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) November 29, 2017
16. It’s time to send the elf back to where he came from: Santa. Or HELL.
I told my son to give an Elf on the Shelf to the mall Santa and whisper in his ear, "Please send him back to hell where he belongs, mall Santa."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 10, 2017
17. Or we can just stop doing this to ourselves!
This year I'll be trying a new variation of "Elf on a Shelf".
It's called "Mom on a Couch Not Doing Elf on a Shelf".
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 22, 2016
Looks like the Elf On The Shelf is well past his shelf life!